Pregnant
by PHii
Summary: Okay now, let's not jump to conclusions ... U&Y Oneshot


**Yumi and Ulrich live together, they're all older now.**

Oh God.

Oh _God_.

It's been two weeks past.

Yumi sighed as she tapped at her Blackberry with a stylus, flipping through the blank pages of her calendar.

There was a thin, red line that ran through the days July 31 and August 4. And today it was September 14. No red marks, no red lines beforehand.

She gripped her phone tightly and sighed, closing her eyes.

She remembered he would always have a condom on him somewhere. And she'd take the morning after pills occasionally, just in case.

They were so careful.

Well, not the time to jump to conclusions she thought, dialing a friend's number.

"Hey, you want to get a quick brunch or something?"

-

The door chimed happily as Yumi entered the tiny café. "Hey Sissi," she chirped, sitting down in the seat opposite her.

Sissi snapped her compact shut and slipped in back into her purse, eyed Yumi dangerously. "You sound tired. Speak."

Yumi laughed nervously and stood abruptly. "Let me go get a cup of coffee first…"

Sissi raised her eyebrows and set down a mug of coffee, a Danish and a croissant in front of her, motioning for Yumi to sit down again. "Beat you to it," she replied with a wry grin, as Yumi slumped back into her seat, grabbing the coffee and the croissant.

Yumi sipped her coffee and said quietly, "Tom is late." (Tom as in Time Of Month)

Sissi's eyes widened. "How long?"

"Two weeks."

-

Yumi lay cuddled on a white couch, holding a warm cup of tea gingerly, sipping cautiously, her eyes glued to the TV screen. Yumi sat up with a start as the doorbell chimed.

"Coming!" she yelled, setting down her tea and making swift to the door.

She opened it, and smiled slightly. "Aelita, Sissi. What are you guys doing here?"

Sissi grinned happily in turn, held up two grocery bags, and motioned to the pair in Aelita's hands. "Let us in first, then we'll talk."

Yumi stepped aside and the three walked to the TV room and sat on the various cushions spread on the floor. A James Bond movie was playing.

Aelita reached into the bag and handed Yumi a pink and white box.

Yumi read the label aloud. "The World's most precise pregnancy test. 99.9 accurate."

At this Sissi frowned. "That kind of disappointed me. But not to worry, we bought fourteen more," she finished with a cheeky smile, holding up the other bags.

"Oh my God, Sissi..."

-

Fifteen plastic cups were lined up against the kitchen counter. The three girls stood facing in the opposite direction holding each other's hands, with Yumi in the middle.

She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

"Are you ready, Yumi?" asked Aelita, looking worriedly in her direction.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she replied, opening her eyes.

"Okay," exhaled Sissi. "On the count of three."

"One."

"Two."

"THREE!"

Yumi winced. "God you guys, I swear, sometimes you make me wanna—"

"The hell is it?" wondered Sissi, inspecting the tests. "What does a happy face mean?"

Yumi whirled around, slightly disappointed that the other two girls had seen the results before she had. But her disappointment was short-lived, for neither knew the true results.

Fifteen cups with plastic things sticking out all had happy faces plastered on their label.

"Not sure. Go check the trash can for a box."

Aelita went to the bin and rummaged through, before letting out a small squeal of delight and reading the back instructions.

"Happy face means … OH MY GOD YUMI, YOU'RE PREGNANT!!"

Yumi backed into a chair and collapsed into the seat.

"Yumi?" called Sissi apprehensively.

"I'm… I'm pregnant," she said with a small smile. She patted her lower torso gingerly. "Hello baby."

The two girls let out pent-up shrieks and rushed towards the new mom, careful not to crush the new baby hiding in Yumi's tummy.

"Oh the man, we totally have to go shopping for her clothes!" wailed Sissi, jumping up and down excitedly.

"And we have to buy her furniture!" chimed Aelita.

"And we have to get his blankie! And his teddy!"

"Girls—"

"And baby bottles and bibs!"

"And strollers and pacifiers!!"

"Guys—"

"AND DIAPERS OMAIGAWD."

"The ones with the cute little duckies on them!!"

"GUYS—"

"And the—"

"SISSI. AELITA. GET A GRIP."

"Right."

"Sorry."

Yumi breathed a sigh of relief. "We don't even know if it's a guy or a girl."

"Oh, it's a girl for sure. I have women's intuition," replied Sissi confidently.

"Well it just so happens that I happen to be a happening pro at predicting a baby's gender. And I say Yumi's child is a boy," retorted Aelita, smirking with pride.

Sissi narrowed her eyes. "It has to be a girl."

Aelita scoffed. "It's totally a boy."

"Girl."

"Boy."

"Girl!"

"Boy!"

"Stop it you two!" whined Yumi, covering her ears. "You're making me all stressy and stuff…"

"Aww…"

"GROUP HUG!"

The three landed in a plush chair meant for one, but landed gracefully nonetheless.

"If it's a girl, you could name her Lauren."

"And if it's a boy, you could name him Ralph."

"AND IF YOU HAVE TWINS—"

"You can name the boy RALPH—"

"AND THE GIRL LAUREN!!" finished Sissi excitedly, with stars in her eyes.

Yumi raised an eyebrow. "Or not."

"Or Dolce and Gabbana," said Aelita with a giggle.

Yumi couldn't help but smile along with her friends. "Names will be fun."

-

Yumi stood sadly in front of her mirror for a while, lifting her shirt and patting her flat tummy. "This," she said, "Is going to go away for a while." No more sexy clothes. Only frumpy maternity ones.

But it should be worth it. For that "bundle of joy". Yumi was going to be a mom!

Yes!

Knowing that you were a mother made you want to do all sorts of weird motherly things around the house. Cooking, for one.

Yumi hummed happily, as she shut the refrigerator door, setting down a long slice of packaged salmon on the kitchen counter. The pregnancy tests had been long since disposed of, and the counter had been wiped clean, thanks to Yumi's newfound motherly skills.

As she chopped garlic, she wondered nervously what Ulrich would say. Backtrack, she thought, how the hell was she going to tell him in the first place?

"Worry about that later," she muttered, pulling out a cooking tray and slapping the salmon on it. "Cooking first."

-

Ulrich came home with a tired look on his face, but looked up in confusion when the scent of—salmon, was it?—wafted to his nose. He came into the dining room with a surprised look on his face, one that pleased Yumi.

"You cooked?" he asked incredulously. "By yourself?"

"_Yes_, by myself, thank you very much."

"Are you sure?" he inquired with a smile, remembering the time she ordered takeout, but insisted that she made it all herself.

"Absolutely positive. Come, try it!"

They sat down opposite each other and Ulrich placed a slice of salmon in his mouth and smiled warmly. "Not bad," he said, licking his lips.

Yumi giggled and reached for the bottle of wine, and then poured both of them a glass. "I followed the recipe your mom gave me." Speaking of motherhood…

"Oh, that's nice."

'Yes it is nice! You what else is nice? I'm pregnant!' Yumi yelled in her mind, keeping a small smile on her face.

"God, work was so tiring today, I felt like I was gonna die…"

Yumi just nodded and smiled. How the crap was she going to tell him?! So Ulrich, what do you think of a mini-me…

"Damn company was giving us such a hard time today…"

Maybe she wouldn't tell him. Maybe she'd run and hide in the Philippines for nine months and come back with a baby. Hey Ulrich, look what I found! Isn't it cute?

"I swear, merging is the worst thing that ever came to the face of the earth…"

Yumi grinned politely and nodded in an "Mhm? Yeah," manner. I think babies are nice, Ulrich. Don't you want one? Good, 'cause one's on its way!

"But their company is somehow always so successful…"

Haha, funny thing Ulrich, the girls and I decided to get pregnancy tests on whim, and whoo! I'm pregnant ... ha-ha…!

"Their income is nearly double ours, which a lot of money, I'm tellin' ya…"

How was she going to tell him? Maybe in a calm, even voice.

"And if we merged, our stock would shoot to the skies…"

Yumi smiled at him, and took a good stab at her salmon. Damn salmon. I'm fucking pregnant. I'm. Fucking. Pregnant. Nice, sweet tone.

"But they just keep on piling shit, one thing after another…"

Yumi frowned. No, too harsh. Ulrich, honey, I'm pregnant…

"They always find something wrong with our database. What the hell, you know? How would you know?…"

Lose the honey. They weren't that kind of couple. No honey, sweetiepie, honeycakes, God no. Nicknames are for 'tards. Okay then. I'm pregnant. Blunt, and to the point. No need for beating around the bush, right? Right.

"But I guess it'll all be worth it in the end. Thanks for listening Yumi, just needed to vent. You know how these things get," he said softly, reaching for her hand.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted, eyes widening. Whoops, that was supposed to be something along the lines of "It's no problem…"

His hand tightened upon hers. "You're… You're pregnant. Oh my God. Oh my God!!" he yelled excitedly, grabbing her face and kissing her senseless. He stood and rushed to her, enveloping her in his arms, smiling contentedly. "We're going to be parents," he murmured into her hair, and she leaned against his chest.

She shrieked with surprise as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. "Might as well make the best of our time before you get too big…"

"Big?! Excuuuse me—!"

-

**I'm not meant to write humor…  
****I'm rereading this, and it's like, I'm trying to be funny, but all the characters end up serious anyways.  
****Oh well. This was an experiment.  
****Don't bother complaining. I'll try not to write a "humorous" story ever again.**

**I promise.**


End file.
